This mail concerns APOLLO Archive Submission #000023876 - your 666th submission in just five days... and oh, what a doozy.
Despite earlier warnings re: inappropriate materials, you chose to submit 265 "holographic re-masters" of "acknowledged classics of extreme exploitation cinema."
Allow me, then to thank you - on two counts:
1) For giving me the pleasure of rejecting your submission, thereby consigning your favorite Eastern European torture flicks and their ilk to the dust heap of oblivion. It truly warms my heart to know that I have saved future humanity from the ordeal of experiencing not just one, but all sixteen (!) installments of "Making a Millipede." (Don't worry, the Pasolini material has already been preserved. Extreme, perhaps, but art.)
2) For clarifying a concept that has so long been ambiguous and ethically fraught for archivists such as myself: the definition of "obscenity." You have freed me from the subjective quagmire embodied in Judge Potter's famous utterance, "I know it when I see it." Thanks to you, I can now apply a single objective criterion: "If Travis Tate submitted it, it's obscene."
Accordingly, I have directed APOLLO staff to summarily reject all of your future submissions, sight unseen.
Perhaps you might invest the time you would have spent preparing further submissions on, oh, I don't know - your assigned work? We have a world to save, after all... or the rest of us do, anyway.
Dr. Samina Ebadji